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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

1100 Lake Street, Suite 120, Oak Park, IL 60301

DuPage County | 630-852-9700

Mokena | 815-727-6144   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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4 Tips For Talking to Your Children About Your Illinois Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Oak Brook divorce attorney child issuesOne of the biggest worries and fears that parents have during a divorce is how the end of their marriage will affect their children. While it is no secret that divorce can put children through some stress and uncertainty, it is often the best action to take for the sake of the family. Children who are raised in unhappy households often have self-esteem problems, trust issues, and in some cases, even behavioral or emotional issues that can follow them for the rest of their lives. Telling the children about your divorce can seem like a daunting task, but these tips can help you have a meaningful conversation:

  1. Tell All of Your Children at the Same Time

Many parents make the mistake of not talking to all of their children together when breaking the news of their divorce. They may think that younger children should be sheltered from the news of a divorce, while older children can be trusted with this information. This often puts unfair and unnecessary stress on older children to keep the secret of the divorce from younger children. It is often best to gather all of your children together and tell them all at the same time to avoid any unnecessary difficulties.

  1. Try to Talk in a Way Your Kids Will Understand

Each child is going to be different when it comes to how much they understand about the divorce and what it all means. Younger children typically have a more difficult time understanding what a divorce is, so simple and clear messages usually work best when explaining things to them. Older children and teenagers tend to need more information to feel satisfied with the news of a divorce, but you should still use caution when revealing details about why the marriage has broken down.

  1. Be Prepared for Mixed Reactions

Just as children will have different levels of understanding, they will also have different ways of processing the news. Some children may take the news easily and only have a few questions. Other children may have more difficulty, and they may begin to internalize the issues. It is important to allow your children to feel whatever they need to feel in order to comprehend the situation and begin to heal from it.

  1. Be Open to Answering Questions

As children, not even teenagers have a full grasp on what a divorce actually means. As such, your children will probably have a lot of questions about their lives and the upcoming changes they will be experiencing. Common things that children wonder about include where they will live, whether or not they will go to the same school, and how often they will get to see each parent. You should be open and answer their questions as honestly as possible. 

Help From a Skilled DuPage County Divorce Attorney Can Be Useful

Making the decision to get a divorce is never an easy journey, but once you have made that choice, you need the knowledge and willpower of a DuPage County divorce lawyer to guide you through the legal process. At Wakenight & Associates, P.C., we have more than 95 years of combined experience helping families address the issues of divorce, including child-centered issues such as parenting time or the allocation of decision-making responsibilities. To schedule a free consultation, call our office today at 630-852-9700.

 

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/talking-to-your-children-about-divorce/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/children-and-divorce.htm

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/How-to-Talk-to-Your-Children-about-Divorce.aspx

 

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