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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

1100 Lake Street, Suite 120, Oak Park, IL 60301

DuPage County | 630-852-9700

Mokena | 815-727-6144   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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Oak Brook divorce attorneyEach year, when the clock strikes midnight on December 31, people around the world celebrate the ending of the year and welcome the new year in. One of the most popular traditions that is observed for New Year’s is making resolutions to improve yourself and your life. For some people, this may mean quitting smoking or eating healthier and exercising more. If you are going through or have recently finalized your divorce, there is no better way to start your new year than by making it a priority to be happier and healthier than ever before. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions that you can commit to after your Illinois divorce:

  1. Pick and Choose Your Battles

Fighting with your ex is exhausting. For many couples, divorce means constant arguments and opposition about nearly every aspect of the life they once shared. The divorce is probably not even the beginning of the fighting; you have most likely been arguing with your spouse about trivial things for years. This New Year, try to be more selective about your battles with your ex. If you feel an argument about to erupt, try to determine whether or not the fight is worth it. Chances are, things will be easier and you will be happier if you just refuse to fight.

  1. Make Your Children a Priority

Every parent wants what is best for their child, and this means making sure that they are put first in nearly every aspect of your life. Divorce is hard for everyone, but it can be especially difficult for your children, so in the new year, you can make an additional effort to meet their needs, spend time with them, discuss their feelings about the divorce, and remind them that you will always be there for them. Whatever you do, you should make sure your children know that they are your number one priority and that they are loved very much.

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Hinsdale divorce lawyerAside from the death of a loved one, getting a divorce is the most stressful event that is likely to happen in a person’s life. This is because a divorce encompasses almost everything in your life, from where you live and how much time you spend with your children, to your monthly expenses and tax implications. The process of divorcing your spouse is not just a legal one -- it is as much an emotional process as it is anything else. While people may tell you that you will be much happier after your divorce is over, there are plenty of realities that nobody really talks about. Here are a few things that you may not be prepared for when it comes to life after your Illinois divorce:

  1. You Will Probably Feel a Loss, Even if You Initiated the Divorce

Getting a divorce is a huge change in your life. Even if you were the one who wanted the divorce because you believed that your marriage had broken down beyond repair, you will still probably feel a mix of emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and loss. Getting a divorce is a major life transition, and you not only lose your spouse as a life partner, but you may also lose your relationships with others who are associated with your spouse, such as their family and friends. Adjusting to this loss can take time.

  1. You Might Get Mixed Reactions From Family and Friends

Unfortunately, a divorce can bring out the worst in people, including your loved ones. You may find that some people in your family treat you differently, and you may also find that some of the people that you considered to be your friends will not be there for you when you need them. On the flip side, you may also find that some people that you were never really close to before may step forward and offer the love and support that you need.

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Oak Brook divorce attorney for property and debt divisionIt has often been said that preparation is the key to success, and when it comes to divorce, that is no exception. Most areas of your life will change after a divorce, including your living situation and parenting situation. Even though your divorce is an emotional process, it is just as much a legal and financial process. Dealing with marital finances during a divorce can be tricky, especially since financial issues are often the root of disagreements during divorce negotiations. Proper preparation is crucial when it comes to the financial side of your divorce. Here are a few ways you can prepare your finances before you begin negotiations:

1. Collect Your Records

The first thing you need to do is to gather all of your financial information from the past couple of years. This can help you get a good idea of your financial picture, and it will ensure that you have everything ready as you begin the negotiation process. You should try to gather records such as:

  • Tax returns

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Hinsdale divorce lawyerWhen you think of divorce, you probably think of a family with younger children who will have to shift from household to household for the rest of their childhood. However, while a divorce can be hard on children who are still growing up, it can also be difficult for adults whose parents are splitting up.

Most of the time, when a couple who has adult children gets divorced, they are ending a marriage that has lasted for years, or maybe even decades. Divorcing after a long marriage can be difficult for both the couple and the rest of the family, due to increased financial issues and the amount of history and memories that were made together. If you are a parent of adult children, and you and your spouse are getting a divorce, here are a few ways that you can help your children cope with this family change:

Time the Announcement Right

Once you realize that you are definitely getting a divorce, and there is no heading back, you should begin to think about how you are going to break the news to your family. An announcement as big as this should come directly from you, not from another family member who heard it first. In some cases, you may want to gather all of your children together to let them know about your divorce, but this may not always be feasible due to busy schedules or because you live in different geographical areas. In any case, you will want to have an adult conversation where you can inform each child about the end of your marriage, answer their questions, and ensure that they understand what is happening in your life.

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Oak Brook divorce attorney

A divorce is one of the most stressful life events that a person can experience. Divorce brings about all sorts of changes, from disruptions in your routines and responsibilities to changes in your relationships with your family and friends. As much as divorce is a legal process of separating yourself from your spouse, it is also very much an emotional process that takes a good amount of time to deal with. Going through a divorce can put an immense amount of stress and pressure on you, which can manifest in unhealthy ways. Here are a few healthy coping mechanisms you can use if you are going through a divorce:

Let Yourself Grieve

One of the most important coping mechanisms you can practice when going through something as painful as a divorce is letting yourself grieve. Even though nobody died, your marriage did come to an end, and it is important that you let yourself acknowledge that. Your feelings of resentment, anger, sadness, and even despair are normal and important for you to experience so you can begin to heal.

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