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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

1100 Lake Street, Suite 120, Oak Park, IL 60301

DuPage County | 630-852-9700

Mokena | 815-727-6144   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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How to Avoid Making Your High-Conflict Divorce Worse

Posted on in Divorce

Hinsdale high conflict divorce attorneyDivorce can be a difficult and exhausting experience even in the most collaborative of situations. While some couples can compromise and negotiate a mutually agreeable divorce settlement, others simply cannot set aside their differences. This is often the case when there is domestic violence, adultery, drug or alcohol abuse, or habitual careless spending present during the marriage. If you are involved in a high-conflict divorce, there are steps you can take to reduce potential conflict between you and your ex-spouse.

Disengage From the Past 

A marriage can come to an end for a variety of reasons. When you make the decision to get a divorce, it is important to mentally distance yourself from those reasons, which can become trigger mechanisms to set off future arguments. For your sake and that of your children, do your best to push these painful memories away and come up with strategies to deal with your emotions positively. 

Decide for the Future

You may not want to communicate with your ex, but you will probably still have to make some decisions together. Whether you need to decide who will take the children to get haircuts or when each of you will go on vacation with the kids, try to contemplate every scenario that may come up in any given day, week, or year. Communicate proposals that can be negotiated, perhaps through a third-party app that reduces the likelihood of conflict.

Be Transactional, Not Emotional

If you and your ex have decided to use email as your primary means of communication, keep it simple, to the point, absent of emotion, and focused only on child-related matters. Keep your messages to four sentences or less. Anything more than that can interject opinion or emotion, whether you realize it or not. Make your emails brief, informative, cordial, and firm.

Document Any Improprieties

If your ex is not adhering to a temporary visitation or custody order while your divorce is ongoing, do not attack them verbally, whether in-person or by phone, text, or email. Fully document each instance, including dates and times, and report any recurring pattern to your divorce attorney, who can take appropriate legal action through the court.

Contact a DuPage County High-Conflict Divorce Lawyer

If you are contemplating divorce, and expect a contentious divorce process, the skilled Oak Brook family law attorneys at Wakenight and Associates, P.C. can help. We will help alleviate your burden as we work aggressively to settle all issues so you achieve the divorce outcome that protects your future. For a free consultation, call us today at 630-528-0734.

Sources:

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/free-articles/2018/3/7/im-done-the-4ds-of-high-conflict-divorce

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