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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

707 N. York Street, Suite 201, Elmhurst, IL 60126

DuPage County | 630-852-9700

Mokena | 815-727-6144   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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Hinsdale high conflict divorce attorneyDivorce can be a difficult and exhausting experience even in the most collaborative of situations. While some couples can compromise and negotiate a mutually agreeable divorce settlement, others simply cannot set aside their differences. This is often the case when there is domestic violence, adultery, drug or alcohol abuse, or habitual careless spending present during the marriage. If you are involved in a high-conflict divorce, there are steps you can take to reduce potential conflict between you and your ex-spouse.

Disengage From the Past 

A marriage can come to an end for a variety of reasons. When you make the decision to get a divorce, it is important to mentally distance yourself from those reasons, which can become trigger mechanisms to set off future arguments. For your sake and that of your children, do your best to push these painful memories away and come up with strategies to deal with your emotions positively. 

Decide for the Future

You may not want to communicate with your ex, but you will probably still have to make some decisions together. Whether you need to decide who will take the children to get haircuts or when each of you will go on vacation with the kids, try to contemplate every scenario that may come up in any given day, week, or year. Communicate proposals that can be negotiated, perhaps through a third-party app that reduces the likelihood of conflict.

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Elmhurst divorce lawyer parental alienationThe traumatic nature of divorce can bring out the worst in even the best people. This is often a byproduct of the immense emotional and physical stress that can accompany the divorce process. This is especially true in high-conflict divorces, including those spawned by infidelity or those in which one spouse was completely stunned by the other’s divorce filing.

When these emotions boil over, children sometimes become pawns in a proxy war between the two parties. On occasion, one parent or both parents will attempt to turn their child against their former companion. This is called parental alienation, and evidence of this type of behavior by a parent can be used against them in court during divorce proceedings. The alienated parent may be granted extra parenting time to help repair the damage caused by the offending parent.

Here are some common forms of parental alienation:

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Hinsdale divorce attorney child issuesDivorce is nothing new in the United States. In fact, the first recorded divorce in the American colonies occurred in 1643, when Ann Clarke was granted a divorce from Dennis Clarke by the Quarter Court of Boston, Mass. 

Nearly four centuries and millions of divorces later, the divorce process can still take a significant emotional and physical toll on divorcing couples and their children. This is especially true in high-conflict divorces in which couples cannot reach agreements on their own and must go through divorce litigation.

You do not have to like your soon-to-be ex-spouse, but allowing your animosities to overflow to where it severely impacts your children can lead to issues that last a lifetime. Here are some preventative measures you can take to protect your children from the contentious nature of your impending divorce:

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