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Wakenight & Associates, P.C.

1100 Lake Street, Suite 120, Oak Park, IL 60301

DuPage County | 630-852-9700

Mokena | 815-727-6144   Oak Park | 708-848-3159

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Hinsdale divorce lawyerWhen you think of divorce, you probably think of a family with younger children who will have to shift from household to household for the rest of their childhood. However, while a divorce can be hard on children who are still growing up, it can also be difficult for adults whose parents are splitting up.

Most of the time, when a couple who has adult children gets divorced, they are ending a marriage that has lasted for years, or maybe even decades. Divorcing after a long marriage can be difficult for both the couple and the rest of the family, due to increased financial issues and the amount of history and memories that were made together. If you are a parent of adult children, and you and your spouse are getting a divorce, here are a few ways that you can help your children cope with this family change:

Time the Announcement Right

Once you realize that you are definitely getting a divorce, and there is no heading back, you should begin to think about how you are going to break the news to your family. An announcement as big as this should come directly from you, not from another family member who heard it first. In some cases, you may want to gather all of your children together to let them know about your divorce, but this may not always be feasible due to busy schedules or because you live in different geographical areas. In any case, you will want to have an adult conversation where you can inform each child about the end of your marriage, answer their questions, and ensure that they understand what is happening in your life.

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Oak Brook divorce attorney

A divorce is one of the most stressful life events that a person can experience. Divorce brings about all sorts of changes, from disruptions in your routines and responsibilities to changes in your relationships with your family and friends. As much as divorce is a legal process of separating yourself from your spouse, it is also very much an emotional process that takes a good amount of time to deal with. Going through a divorce can put an immense amount of stress and pressure on you, which can manifest in unhealthy ways. Here are a few healthy coping mechanisms you can use if you are going through a divorce:

Let Yourself Grieve

One of the most important coping mechanisms you can practice when going through something as painful as a divorce is letting yourself grieve. Even though nobody died, your marriage did come to an end, and it is important that you let yourself acknowledge that. Your feelings of resentment, anger, sadness, and even despair are normal and important for you to experience so you can begin to heal.

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Hinsdale fathers’ rights lawyer

In today’s world, there is no such thing as a “typical” divorce. There are many ways a couple can end their marriage, and the outcomes will change depending on the needs of each family. Some families are still traditional in the sense that the mother is the primary caregiver and is the one who spends the most time with the children. In other families, fathers are more involved in raising their children, which can cause tension and stress when it comes to making child-centered decisions during a divorce.

Though the law states that both mothers and fathers should be treated equally, fathers are sometimes still seen as “second-class” parents, and some dads feel that they are not given the same consideration as mothers when it comes to issues such as parenting time. Divorce can be difficult for everyone, but its negative effects may be especially worrisome for fathers. Here are a few tips to help dads aim for success during and after a divorce:

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Oak Brook divorce lawyer for retirement fund division

Most couples will experience some sort of conflict during a divorce. For many couples, the asset division process is one of the topics that bring about the most conflict. Prevailing during this process is important, because it can determine how financially stable you are after the divorce, and it can also affect your finances into the future. For many people, one of their biggest assets is their retirement account.

In Illinois, retirement funds are considered to be marital property as long as they were acquired during the marriage. Marital assets may include individual retirement accounts, non-qualified plans, defined contribution plans and accounts, and pension benefits. These retirement funds must be divided between divorcing spouses, which can become tricky. In most cases, this should be done using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO.

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Hinsdale divorce attorney for child issuesCouples get divorced for many reasons. Maybe you and your spouse have realized that you are two different people who want different things. Maybe you still love each other, but you have grown apart. Or maybe some other type of conflict has occurred, such as infidelity or financial issues. Whatever the reason for the divorce, it is likely that you and your spouse will not be on the best of terms. It is not uncommon for couples to experience contentious divorces, and issues involving children are often some of the most difficult matters to resolve. Sometimes, children can be caught in the crossfire of marital conflicts. Here are a few ways you can protect your children as much as possible during your divorce:

  1. Do Not Fight in Front of the Kids

One of the most detrimental things children can experience is to witness their parents constantly fighting and arguing. High levels of conflict can create a sense of tension and unhappiness in the home, and this can manifest negatively in children. Kids who observe their parents’ arguments are more prone to behavioral problems and emotional issues. During your divorce, you should do your best to avoid arguing in front of your children, forcing them to take sides, or asking them to send messages between you and your spouse.

  1. Keep Routines as Stable as Possible

As you go through the process of ending your marriage, you and your children will probably experience many changes. You and/or your spouse may need to find new living arrangements, your daily schedules may shift, and your life in general will change. For children, all of these adjustments can be difficult, especially when they come all at once. You can help your children transition into these changes by maintaining consistent routines as much as possible. Try talking with your spouse to make sure the same rules are followed in both households, and try to stick to similar schedules for meals, bedtimes, etc.

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